Demi Peters has spent the last decade helping people navigate everything from divorce and parenting arrangements to estate and sport disputes. She is a Chartered Mediator through the ADR Institute of Canada and a recognized family mediator in Saskatchewan.
Demi’s career has been built on hands-on mediation practice, curriculum development, and mentoring the next generation of mediators. And now she’s bringing all that experience to Kompass.
We sat down with her to talk about her path into mediation, what she’s learned along the way, and what students can expect when they start out in the field.
Demi: I began work as an ADR practitioner in 2016. That’s when I took the National Introductory Mediation Course. From there, I obtained my Qualified Mediator designation predominantly through doing civil mediations here in Saskatoon. We have a civil mediation program that is part of the litigation stream.
From there, I took all the requisite courses needed to become a Recognized Family Mediator. I developed a specialty in that area, but I also do a little bit of estate mediation and a bit of sport mediation. I consider myself a general practitioner.
Demi: I had a position as an office administrator, kind of a jack-of-all-trades role, at a law firm that was focused on settlement advocacy. When we were looking to expand and bring on more staff, we were thinking about how we could diversify. The owner of the company is a collaborative lawyer and mediator, so we were able to get me into some mediation training. So that’s how I kind of fell into it.
Demi: I have done the coaching for the national introductory program. I did that two or three times with ADR BC, and then two or three times with the ADR Institute of Saskatchewan.
In my former life, I was a water safety instructor and lifeguard for over a decade. I did all the advanced leadership training. I was in charge of training lifeguard and water safety instructors and then I was in charge of training the trainers that did that as well. So my experience with teaching goes way back.
I have lots of experience teaching adults because many of the people that were looking to become lifeguards fall into that adult learning category. The folks that take the national introductory mediation training tend to be adult learners as well.
It’s really difficult for an adult who’s trying to navigate their personal life and supplement their professional career to be able to fit that in, and also to be able to access training in a way that suits all of the various learning styles. Being able to support adult learners is something that is near and dear to my heart.
I also run a practice group here out of Saskatchewan, but we have folks from all over Canada and even the world. It’s just a drop-in lunch and learn that is like a skills development session. We also have what’s called a brain share in the evenings. That’s for mentorship. So many mediators are solo practitioners, so they’re very isolated and the problems that they encounter can be very scary and intimidating. To be able to have seasoned mediators provide some peer learning and support is so crucial.
Demi: That I’m going to be able to force anybody to do anything. I think a lot of people come in thinking they’re right and the other side is wrong, and the mediator is going to help them convince the other side that they’re right. And that’s not my role.
I uphold the principle of self-determination. I’m trying to empower both parties to make a good agreement that is going to meet as many individual and shared interests as possible. I’m not trying to convince either party that the other one is right. I’m just trying to translate their needs to one another so they can better understand and appreciate where the other person is coming from.
The other thing that I see sometimes is one party thinking that I can be their lawyer or advocate in this. Although there are mediators who are also lawyers, when they’re being a mediator, it is really important that they are just wearing their mediator hat, not doing advocacy or giving legal advice.
Demi: I think a healthy dose of curiosity is important as well as being able to be curious even when you hear very unusual things.
I think that sometimes in our early days as mediators, we have a little bit of hubris and we’re like, oh, we got this, we know how to do this. And then you’ll always have a couple files that suddenly humble you.
Stay curious and always know that going into this profession is a commitment to lifelong learning. There’s always going to be tools that you’re going to want to add to your toolbox, and you’re going to want to expand your skill set. That doesn’t mean that you can’t niche down and get into a specialty area, but it means that every person is unique and it’s important to have a breadth of different things that you can pull out and try if things aren’t working as they normally do.
Demi: I would say getting work. It can be really overwhelming to try and break into the field. I was really fortunate because I already worked at a law firm and it’s very common for the public to have that affiliation with mediation and legal services.
For folks that don’t have a legal background and don’t have connections, it can be like, well, I know I’m good at this, I’ve taken the training, I really want to help people as a peacemaker…but where do I find the work?
You need to have the skills to network, to market, to advertise yourself, to really put yourself out there. Be ready to face a little bit of rejection and a little bit of pushback because it can be a little bit of a winding road to be a professional mediator. You need that resiliency to keep moving forward and get connected with other mediators who have been there and done that so they can help support you along the way.
Demi: They should know that it’s a life sentence in learning. If you’re going to hold a professional designation, you’re always going to have continuing education and engagement credits that you’re going to have to do every single year. So always be reading, always be looking for webinars, always be looking for the next course you can take to sharpen your skills.
Kompass offers certificates in mediation, family mediation, and intergenerational mediation that are accredited by organizations like ADRIC, ADRIO, and OAFM. Each program is delivered online and takes 12 weeks to complete.
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